Transforming the Loop
Loop of Vulnerability and Empathy
When you become aware of intense feelings, you can choose to become reactive or to be vulnerable -- to allow another person to see the parts of you that are hurt, sad, afraid, or angry. If the other person responds with empathy, you can create a positive Loop of Vulnerability and Empathy, which is easy to remember by the acronym: LOVE.
Much of emotional intelligence (and success and happiness in life) is about the ability to pause when experiencing intense feelings, reflect on the possible source, and respond in ways that create closeness instead of distance.
Vulnerability:
- Allowing another person to see the parts of you that are scared, hurt, sad, and lonely, etc.
- Taking a risk to share your deepest thoughts and feelings with another person even when you are not sure how they will react.
Empathy:
- Imagining what it feels like to be in the other person’s shoes.
- Imagining what that person thinks and feels.