Stages of Relationship
Illusion
We are in love and hope that everything will be fine. We are looking for what is right in the other person and finding it. This stage can end as something happens that we didn’t expect or something we did expect doesn’t happen, leading to disappointment and...
Disillusion
We begin to look for what is wrong, and we find that. Every human being has strengths, challenges, and the potential for growth. It’s easy to find what’s wrong with another person when that’s what we’re looking for. That leads to the next stage, where we use whatever we know -- often including “dirty fighting” and “power struggles” -- to try to get what we want.
Confusion
What is wrong, and how do I change it? Anger, pain, sadness, and disappointment leak out in a variety of ways, such as blame, sarcasm, labeling, name calling, withholding, the silent treatment, etc. All of which lead to a…
Conclusion
That often becomes despair, the end of intimacy, trust, confiding, and joy. Or you open yourself to learn the skills to deal with conflict fairly and non-destructively and with goodwill -- so you don’t need to lose each other and dreams that were once cherished.