Love Knots 2
Love Knot #2
When I tell
you how I feel,
you interrupt, disagree,
give advice, judge,
or dismiss my feelings.
That’s not what I want.
I stop telling you.
I distance myself
from you.
Untangled
If I want you to listen to me and to hear me without comment, I need to ask for that. Advice is not helpful when the person does not want it. Learning how to listen attentively is often more important than giving advice.
Reflection
Are there people in your life who you’ve stopped confiding in because you didn’t like their reaction? How has that affected your relationships?
What might be possible in your relationship if you could ask your partner to just listen with empathy?
Love Knot #3
If you are in pain,
I believe I should be
able to fix it. I don’t know
how to fix it, so I feel
inadequate. I get angry
with you for making me feel inadequate. I withdraw from
you and blame you for
being in pain.
Untangled
When you are in pain, I can be supportive without believing I have to provide a solution. I can listen, empathize, and acknowledge what you say. I will respect and honor your feelings as well as your ability to ask for what you want.
Reflection
Have there been times in your life when you couldn’t make things better for someone you cared about? How did you feel about the situation? About yourself? About the other person?
How can you be supportive of someone going through a difficult time? What would you like from your partner when you are in pain?