Bonding is the Goal
Bonding as a Biological Need
Biologically-Based Needs: Air, Food, Water, Shelter, and Bonding. When needs are unmet, life is often experienced on the pain
side of the Road Map, including feelings of dis-ease (which can turn to disease), distress, distrust, unhappiness, pain, danger (the anticipation of pain), fear, and anger.
Bonding (the unique combination of emotional openness and physical closeness with another person), is the only biologically-based need that we can’t meet by ourselves. We need another person. Meeting each other’s needs for bonding is an important aspect of the work of a relationship.
When our needs are met, we are more likely to experience life on the pleasure
side of the Road Map, including feelings of ease, eu-stress (healthy stress, also known as the runner’s
high), trust, happiness, pleasure, desire, and love.
PAIRS
is about skills to live life on the pleasure
side.